Bird Flu Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?

If you have any new jokes not here, please add them to our forum here and we'll publish the best ones on this page.

Top Ten Dumb Guy Tips For Avoiding The Bird Flu (From the David Letterman show)

10. "Before eating chicken, soak it in Lysol"

9. "Don't lick unfamiliar pigeons"

8. "Frighten birds by constantly meowing"

7. "Stay away from basketball great Larry Bird"

6. "Anti-bacterial smoothies"

5. "Move to a place where there are no birds, like the moon"

4. "Avoid birds that look like they're up to something"

3. "Go back to the old Y2K bunker, start drinking"

2. "Fill birdfeeder with Sucrets"

1. "If you have a chicken, check for swelling in the McNuggets"

Bird flu reaches America

A bear, a lion and a chicken meet.

The bear said, "If I roar in the forests of North America, the entire forest is shivering with fear."

The Lion said, "If I roar on the great plains of Africa, the entire savannah is shivering with fear."

The chicken said,"Big deal. I only have to cough, and the entire planet is shivering with fear."

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Thanks to Garden99er for these:

Did you hear the Pope has the bird flu? They say he caught it from one of his Cardinals.

"President Bush outlined the U.S. government's plan to attack a bird flu outbreak. Apparently his plan is to attack the bird flu over there in Iraq before it attacks us here. In fact, do you know what they're calling the plan to attack? Flock and awe." --Jay Leno

"I don't know if President Bush really understands this bird flu. A reporter asked him if he was inoculated, and he said 'Hey, I haven't had a drink in 20 years.'" --Jay Leno